04 Dec Christmas Thoughts
At Christmas, we all miss our loved ones, whether young or old. We miss them most of all as we sit around the dining table and reminisce of times gone by and even during the laughter and the joy of a special time, we may have a moment of reflection when we ‘toast’ absent friends and family.
But there is still the chair that is no longer sat in, the presents not bought. The memories of past Christmases threaten to suck the joy out of the whole day. Our hearts ache, our tears flow. We feel a deep, tender wound because someone precious is no longer a part of our lives. We grieve because of that physical absence but we can also find joy in the fact that we have known that much love, because grief can only be borne out of love.
As we take time out from the hustle and bustle of our preparations for Christmas, we can think of them and reflect on the precious gift that they and all that they represented, meant to us. With the season’s sentiments of love, comfort, understanding and hope, we can draw on all of those precious memories of them that we hold in our hearts. Those memories can help with the pain felt as we remember those happier times and recall Christmases, holidays, birthdays and other celebrations when we were all together.
In my role as a Civil Celebrant I am privileged to meet with families at a most vulnerable time to talk about their loved ones and what made them the individuals that they were. I hear such amazing life stories, of heroic acts, deep and enduring love, courage and bravery, but I also hear of loneliness, heartbreak and life-long challenges. I hear of people who have served in conflicts, travelled the world or successfully raised children and ran a home. Some have had successful and fulfilling careers, others have had the most diverse of hobbies and interests but whatever they have done in their lives they have all been somebody special to someone. Each person has had and still has incredible value and importance and played a much needed role in this world. They will never be forgotten.
To lose someone we loved so much
Brings pain beyond belief
There are no words to ease our pain
Our sadness and our grief
We’ve lost someone so close
So wonderful and dear
We think about their special ways
And wish that they were near
But although they’ve left this world
They’ll stay within our hearts
Guiding like our Angels
Even though we are apart
For love is everlasting
And so are our memories
Their name will always be spoken
Around our Christmas Tree.
This Christmas take time out to reflect and remember. Cry if you need to, share stories about your loved ones. Some of you may find that celebrating Christmas this year is too painful and that is ok, whilst others may find that by simply maintaining your routine and celebrating as normal is the best tribute you can pay to your loved one. You will know what is right for you.
It may feel important to you to remember them in a certain way. You may have photos or particular memories which you treasure. Sharing these with others may be something that brings you together. Maybe even start a new tradition this Christmas Time in memory of your loved one such as lighting a candle for them, creating a Christmas bauble than can be hung on the tree each year or by simply raising a glass in their memory. They will always be a part of your family and circle of friends and the love between you will never die.
I would like to wish you all a loving and peaceful Christmas xx